If Mom were a stoner...

...this would be her license plate.

More Than Meets the Eye

About a year a go I had to go Arizona for a claim, and on my way back, as I was crossing the Hoover Dam, I saw a crowd of people gathered on one area of the sidewalk. This caught my attention, so I tried to see what everyone was looking at, and all of the sudden, emerging from the crowd was Jon Voight. So, naturally, I grabbed my camera and snapped a picture.




I meant to post it here a while a go, but I didn't know what witty thing I would write to go along with it, so it sat on my computer for a year.

Then, a couple of months a go, I heard that the Transformers movie would be released, and I asked Candi if she wouldn't mind seeing it, mainly since we only go to the movies once or twice a year. She agreed, and the seven year old boy inside me jumped for joy.

About three weeks a go I saw a commercial for Transformers, and that's when everything came together. While watching the commercial, I realized that a) it starred Jon Voight, and b) part of it took place at the Hoover Dam. Ding, ding, ding, bells are going off in my head. It wasthen that I realized that I just happened to drive through one of the locations of the only movie that I REALLY wanted to see this summer.

Long story short, yesterday Candi and I saw Transformers, and I was nearly beside myself when the Hoover Dam scenes took place. (I would have been, but the theater was so crowded, there was no where for me to sit.)


This brings me to one of the few painful memories that I have from my childhood. (If I have already told you this story, my apoligies; if not, sit back, relax, grab the tissues.) It was Christmas, 1984. (Maybe 1983, the pain clouds the memory.) All I wanted for Christmas were Transformers toys, specifically Optimus Prime, the leader of the Autobots and the biggest. Since everyone knows how the Santa system works in the Willhite family, I didn't get to choose which gifts I opened first, I was at the mercy of whomever held the position of power. It was probably Mom or Dad, but lets not forget that in 1984 Cassidy ruled the family with an iron fist, so she may have been calling the shots. (An iron fist within a velvet glove, mind you, but still an iron fist.) Anyway, I knew that there was a large present for me under the tree from the Padres, and I just new that it was my friend OP. One of the earlier presents that I opened was one of the other Autobots, which did nothing but whet my appetite.

As the moment grew nigh, the butterflies were forming a mosh pit in my stomach, no doubt dancing to a heavy metal version of the Transformers theme song. ("Autobots rage their battle to destroy the evil forces of, The Decepticons!") The large gift was placed in my hands, I smiled. I tore a little of the paper off the top and saw a picture of Optimus Prime, I cheered. I finished unwrapping the gift and realized it was too light to be the Optimus Prime action figure, my stomach dropped. I discovered that it was not Optimus Prime, but a carrying case for all of the Transformers that I would one day collect, I cried. (Like a little baby girl.)

I've still carried a torch for the Transformer's franchise over the years, as is evidenced in my excitement for the film. In fact, about a year a go, I thought Campbell might enjoy watching the cartoons, so we got a DVD of some of the episodes, but Candi and I decided that they were a little too violent. (Oh, how the tables have turned. Now it's me doing the dream crushing.)

Raised on a Motorcycle, Tennessee

Campbell came home from school yesterday and informed me that today was "Take Your Child to Work Day." I had always thought it would be cool to take the kids to work with me, even before I knew what my career would be. Once I got this job I didn't know if it would ever work out for me to take an of the kids with me, since a lot of my days entail climbing on roofs, having people threaten to sue me, or sitting at my desk all day long. I figured that these situations would be either dangerous, scary or boring, respectively.

Well, it just happened to work out that my schedule included a lot of driving and photography, and not much else. (Or as the Canadians like to say: "a perfect day to take my child to work, eh.")

When I'm on the road, occasionally I will see something funny, and I'll want to take a picture of it. Fortunately for me my job requires me to have my camera with me most of the time. (I think most of us wish we had our cameras with us every waking moment, to capture all of our individual Kodak moments, but none of us wants to have a camera surgically attached to our bodies, unlike a certain pregnant sibling that will remain nameless.) Most of the time I'm not able to get the picture for one reason or another. Today, though, Campbell and I saw a couple of things that I was lucky enough to get pictures of.





My first appointment was in Bullhead City, AZ, which is right across the Colorado River from Laughlin, NV. This weekend is the Laughlin River Run, which is this big motorcycle rally. There are tons of people on motorcycles everywhere, as you can see from the main subject of the photo, as well as the motorcycle that I accidentally captured in my rear-view mirror. Anyway, we both thought this was pretty cool: a real life mountain man (and a monutain woman, I suppose) on a Harley, with coon-skin helmet and everything. Actually, it looks more like skunk skin. Nevertheless.


We then made our way down to Lake Havasu where I had to photograph some engine damage on a boat. On our way back through Needles, CA, we saw this truck:

If you can't tell, that's a toy dumptruck strapped to the flatbed. I'm sure that the driver did this as a goof, for which I was grateful, it gave us a good laugh. Anyway, overall it was a good day.

STATS FOR THE DAY:

Miles driven: 357

States driven in: 3

Women who only speak Spanish that shook Campbell's hand: 1

Mountain People on Harley Davidsons: 2

Times Colorado River was crossed: 4

Number of ranch dressing packets Campbell wanted to open to dip his chicken tenders and french fries in: 2

Number of ranch dressing packets Campbell actually used: 1/4

Number of posters of scantily clad women in the boat work shop: Not exactly sure, but definitely a few.

Number of posters of scantily clad women in the boat work shop that Campbell actually saw: None, hopefully.

TTFN

Stinkerman's Famous Pigs

Check out this link:
http://www.lasvegasnow.com/Global/category.asp?C=28259&nav=menu102_3

Scroll down a little and click on the video link for "School Near Pig Farm 'Raises Stink'".

Enjoy.

Dr.B.A. Loonatic

Last night we were pretending that it was my birthday -this is Emily's version of the evening-and we went Chili's for dinner. Actually, I had gotten a gift card from Candi's parents for my birthday. As we were getting out of the car I saw a guy walking towards the restaurant that had a doctor's lab coat on and a HUGE apron full of balloons. We had come to this Chili's before, and they have had a balloon guy making animals and stuff, but we didn't have the kids with us, so we didn't see what he could do. Anyway, his name is Dr. B. A. Loonatic, and when he got to our table, he asked the kids if they wanted an animal, and of course they said yes. Emily wasn't sure what she wanted, so he offered to make something that would surprise her, and she agreed. Now we've all seen balloon animals before, but this guy did some amazing stuff. He ended up making an balloon Ariel, as you can see below.

I assume he chose to do Ariel because of Emily's red hair. He finished it off with the seashells, and this question:

"Why do mermaids wear seashells? Because D shells are too big."

Feel free to laugh, share it with your friends, use it in one of those mass e-mails that tries to guilt people into forwarding it to there friends by promising good luck or saying that if you erase the message then that must mean you don't believe in family values. If any of have not receieved any of these e-mails, just let me know, I got a ton that I haven't gotten around to erasing yet.

Anyway, so then the guy asks Campbell what he wants, and Campbell says "A dog."

Of all the million things that this guy makes, and Campbell wants a dog. I proceeded to ask the good doctor to make me a snake.

He ended up making Blue of Blue's Clues fame, so it wasn't just any dog.

Probably the funniest thing about the whole situation was how Jonah freaked out every time the guy blew up a baloon. I ended up having to take him to the waiting area to keep him from crying.

Needless to say, I was pretty impressed with the guy. And I think you should hire him for all of your festival type activities. Not only will you get amazing ballon figures, but I get a portion of the proceeds.

The Smell

Tonight Candi and I had to pick up some stuff from Wal-Mart, and I left the keys in the ignition, with the car running while we were in the store. Scary, I know. It was my work car too, so if it had gotten stolen, it would have really been bad.

Of course, I should explain how it happened that we went through a whole shopping trip with the our car running, keys in ignition. Just as we had pulled into our parking spot, Campbell yakked like you would not believe. At dinner he was complaining of an upset stomach, so he didn't eat, so we were dealing with a fountain of water, mucus, and peanut butter chocalate chip cookie dough. (I paint quite the picture, don't I?) Anyway, so we pulled the kids out of the car and started cleaning up the mess. Campbell was soaked, so I immediately took him into the store to get him cleaned up. Candi found some clean clothes for Campbell in the trunk, so she brought them in to us. Now, in our haste to clean up, I hadn't turned the car all the way off, and Candi didn't realize it, so there was our car, ripe for the picking.

Now, to the interesting part of the story. The thing is, it actuallyturned out to be good that I left the car on, on multiple levels. Here they are:

Level 1: The air was on the whole time, keeping the car reasonably cool. Need I remind you that we live in the desert. It was May 2nd, 6:30 pm, and it was 92 degrees. It potentially could have been extremely stanky.

Level 2: Although the air was on, there was still an odor in the car. When I opened the car door, the radio was on the classic rock station that I had left it on, and the song they were playing had to have been titled "The Smell". The chorus went something like this: "The Smell/ Smell the Smell/ The Smell."

I love it when life provides us with these moments. Don't you?

Jonah's First Haircut

For some reason the pictures are not posting in the order that I want them to. Anyway, these pictures are of Candi cutting off Jonah's curls the other day.

Look at those crocodile tears. "You're right mom, my hair doesn't look like Dad's after you cut it."

I call this one "The Whine". No more curls.

Easter Morning

This was Easter morning. Candi made Emily's dress and the boy's ties. They looked all cute and everything, until I took out the camera, then Jonah FREAKED! Didn't Candi do a great job?

Halloween in February

These are just some pictures that I took a couple of months ago. If you're wondering what Emily is wearing, that's a jack-o-lantern shirt, Campbell's Ninja Turtle glasses and gloves. Oh, yeah, these were taken in February. That's our Emily.